I need a break

Just from, like, life completely.

“Just go on a vacation!” — yeah, and then you spend a week ignoring all responsibilities, only for you to come back and all the things you were avoiding? Still here, and probably more shit has piled up.

I just want to take a mental break and sleep for like, I dunno, a day? And then when I wake up, my trash will be taken out, my laundry done, clothes folded and put away, groceries stocked, dog walked, schoolwork done, errands ran, things bought.

For almost three weeks now, it’s just been NON. FUCKING. STOP. I worked a stupid schedule to allow myself time off for when Aaron to visit, which put me at 6 shifts within 7 days. Especially on nights, that’s a lot. I only had one day off in between my stretches, which isn’t REALLY a day off because technically I got off work the morning of my “day” off and you can’t even really correct your sleep schedule to be a productive member of society with only one night off. Scary to think this might be what makes me make the switch to day shift…

Then Aaron came in. Aaron visiting has been the only good thing about this past month. But it was a REALLY good thing. I missed him so much, and we had a lot of fun exploring the town. I’m so glad I got to show him what my Albuquerque life is like. It’s also the first significant time off he’s had since he started back in residency in July, so it was  nice to just relax, watch Netflix (we binged Stranger Things), and hang out with each other after not seeing each other for 5 weeks.

Then MY GRANNY DIED. Now I’ve been grieving, and had to stress about getting time off from work and buying expensive plane tickets so I can go home for the funeral.

On top of the school work, where I have discussion posts due on Wednesdays and big assignments/papers on Saturdays. The schoolwork actually isn’t that HARD, it just takes TIME, which I don’t seem to have.

I came to work the same day I flew back in from the funeral. It’s been over a week and I’m still sad. My priest from my childhood ALSO just died yesterday. Fr. Jack, who was there for my baptism, communion, confirmation, and many, many weekly masses in Catholic school. EVERYTHING SUCKS.

I only have two weeks left in Albuquerque, and I can’t even enjoy my time off. I wanted to go do fun weekend stuff later today, but I still have to write my school paper that I slacked on because I was home and without resources for the first three days of the week — which, in an accelerated class that’s only 5 weeks anyway, is a huge chunk of time I should have utilized better.

Only six shift left. Six shifts!! Then the long drive back home, home for about 3-4 days, then the Dominican Republic with my girlfriends for 5 days. Then another 5 days at home, and then BOOM, it’s onto Austin.

I kind of hate that I only am taking two weeks off, and spending a huge chunk of that time out in the Caribbean instead of at home visiting. But then I remember that I’m only going an hour away for my next assignment, and I can come home and visit WAY more easily, and often.

I also kind of hate that I’m going to Austin for my next contract? Don’t get me wrong, it’s where I want to go, but I wish it was somewhere more… different, and exciting. Austin will be different actually LIVING there, obviously, but it’s already kind of familiar territory for me. I’m just already excited for my next contract, because who knows where that’ll take me… and I’m definitely taking like a full month off between Austin and the next one.

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